I dropped the plastic container. The plastic container held three pounds of dried shrimp. The dried shrimp fell into the saltwater tank. The saltwater tank belonged to a bank. The bank was in the city.

The dried shrimp floated on the surface of the water. The dried shrimp began to sink. The filtration system of the saltwater tank could not process three pounds of dried shrimp at once. I had to get the dried shrimp out of the saltwater tank.

I used a net. The net was small. The dried shrimp were many. My arms were wet. My sleeves were wet. I stood on a ladder. The ladder was made of aluminum. The ladder shook when I moved my body. I did not want the manager of the bank to see the dried shrimp in the saltwater tank. I did not want the manager of the bank to see me with the net.

The Hidden Reality

The manager of the bank walked by the saltwater tank. The manager of the bank looked at the saltwater tank. The manager of the bank did not see the dried shrimp. The manager of the bank saw the fish. The fish were yellow tangs. The fish were swimming.

The manager of the bank smiled. The manager of the bank said I was doing a good job. The manager of the bank said the saltwater tank looked perfect. I held the net behind my back. I felt the water drip down my arm. The water was salty. The water was cold.

My business was not doing a good job. My business had four hundred dollars in the bank account. I needed two thousand dollars for the rent of my shop. The manager of the bank did not know about the four hundred dollars. The manager of the bank only saw the yellow tangs.

I went to my truck. The truck was parked in the sun. The truck was hot inside. I sat in the truck. I looked at my phone. I opened the Instagram app. I saw a picture of the saltwater tank. I had posted the picture of the saltwater tank two hours ago.

The picture showed the clear water. The picture showed the blue light. The blue light was 450 nanometers. The caption of the picture said that my business was growing. The caption of the picture said that I was the best diver in the city.

“Marcus said that I was crushing it. Marcus said that he wished he had my life.”

– Marcus, via Instagram Comment

A friend had liked the picture of the saltwater tank. The friend was named Marcus. Marcus left a comment on the picture. Marcus said that I was crushing it. Marcus said that he wished he had my life. Marcus did not know about the spilled shrimp. Marcus did not know about the rent of my shop.

The phone was warm in my hand. The phone had a crack in the corner. I looked at the crack in the phone. I looked at the likes on the picture. The likes were numbers on the screen. The numbers were 142. I had worked hard for those numbers.

I used a service to help get the numbers. If you want to comprare followers instagram then you understand the need for the numbers.

The numbers make the business look real to people like Marcus. The numbers make the people trust the business. But the numbers do not pay the rent of the shop. The numbers do not tell Marcus that I am tired. The numbers do not tell Marcus that my sleeves are wet.

The Color of Water

I looked at the water on my sleeve. The water was drying. The salt was staying on the cloth. The salt was white. I have been an aquarium maintenance diver for seven years. I know how to balance the chemistry of the water.

I know how to check the ammonia. I know how to check the nitrites. I know how to check the nitrates. I use a test kit. The test kit has small glass tubes. I fill the glass tubes with water. I add drops of liquid to the glass tubes.

The water changes color. Yellow means the water is safe. Green means the fish will die. My life feels like the color green. My phone shows the color yellow.

There is a study about people who run businesses. The study says that 58% of people who work for themselves feel that they cannot show weakness.

This means that if you see two people walking down the street with briefcases, one of those people is pretending. The person is pretending that the briefcase is full of money. The briefcase is actually full of old mail and unpaid bills.

I am that person. I am the person with the briefcase of old mail. My Instagram profile is the briefcase. It looks heavy. it looks expensive. It is empty.

I drove the truck to my shop. The shop is small. The shop is in a part of the city where the rent is high. I sat at my desk. The desk is made of wood. The wood is scratched. I opened my laptop.

I looked at the spreadsheet for my business. The spreadsheet has many columns. The columns are red. Red means I owe money. I owe money to the company that sells the fish. I owe money to the company that sells the salt. I owe money to the company that owns the shop.

I looked at the phone again. Marcus had sent a message. Marcus asked if I wanted to go to dinner. Marcus said we should celebrate my success. Marcus saw the 142 likes. Marcus saw the yellow tangs. Marcus did not see the red columns in the spreadsheet.

I did not answer Marcus. I put the phone on the desk. I put the phone face down. I did not want to see the screen. I did not want to see the light of the screen. I went to the back of the shop. There is a couch in the back of the shop. The couch is old. The couch is brown.

I lay down on the couch. I heard the door of the shop open. It was my partner. My partner is named Sarah. Sarah asked if I was okay. I did not want to talk. I did not want to explain the shrimp. I did not want to explain the red columns.

I closed my eyes. I stayed still. I pretended to be asleep. This was a lie. I was awake. I was thinking about the ammonia spike in the tank at the bank. I was thinking about the money I do not have.

Sarah walked to the couch. Sarah put a hand on my shoulder. Sarah thought I was sleeping. Sarah walked away. Sarah began to wash the glass tubes from the test kit. I heard the water running in the sink. I heard the glass tubes clinking together.

Sarah thought I was successful. Sarah thought I was tired from working hard. Sarah did not offer to help with the rent because Sarah thought I had the money. My Instagram profile told Sarah that I had the money. My Instagram profile told the world that I was fine.

The Silent Divide

The glass tubes were clean. Sarah put the glass tubes in the rack. I stayed on the couch. I thought about the 142 people who liked the picture. I thought about the followers.

The followers are names on a list. The followers are not people who can hold the net. The followers are not people who can pay the rent. I built a wall of followers. The wall is high. The wall is strong.

I am on one side of the wall. My friends are on the other side of the wall. My friends look at the wall and they think the wall is beautiful. My friends do not know that I am trapped behind the wall.

I got up from the couch. I went to the sink. I looked at the glass tubes. The glass tubes were clear. I looked at my reflection in the window. My face looked tired. I looked at my phone. I had 150 likes now. The number had gone up.

The business looked even better than it did an hour ago. The business looked so good that no one would ever think to ask if I needed a loan. The business looked so good that no one would ever think to ask if I was hungry.

I took the phone. I took the phone to the trash can. I did not drop the phone in the trash can. I held the phone over the trash can. I wanted to drop the phone. I wanted the screen to break. I wanted the numbers to go away.

But I need the phone. I need the phone to get new clients. I need the phone to show the yellow tangs. I need the phone to pretend. I put the phone back in my pocket. My pocket was still damp from the water in the saltwater tank.

I walked back to the desk. I opened the Instagram app again. I looked at the picture of the yellow tangs. I deleted the comment from Marcus. I did not want to go to dinner. I did not want to celebrate. I wrote a new caption.

I wanted to write that I was drowning. I wanted to write that I spilled the shrimp. I wanted to write that the rent was late. I moved my thumb over the letters on the screen. I deleted the words. I did not post the words.

I posted a picture of a new coral. The coral was purple. The coral was beautiful. I tagged the location. I waited for the likes to start. I waited for the people to tell me that I was crushing it.

The Clear Water Lie

I went home. I ate dinner with Sarah. Sarah talked about her day. Sarah asked about the bank. I said the bank was fine. I said the fish were healthy. I said the manager was happy. I did not tell her about the shrimp. I did not tell her about the net. I did not tell her about the red columns.

I went to bed. I lay in the dark. I thought about the saltwater tank. I thought about the ammonia. Tomorrow the ammonia will be higher. Tomorrow the fish might be sick. Tomorrow I will have to go back to the bank.

I will have to clean the glass. I will have to check the tubes. I will have to take another picture. I will have to show the world that the water is clear.

The water is never as clear as the picture. The water is full of salt and shrimp and things that are dying. But the picture is perfect. The picture is always perfect.