Premise: Following the wife of a missionary is wiped out, we leap back, and explore the few’s life collectively. About: Every Friday, I review a script from the readers of the website. Keep in mind your script will be posted. Writer: Karl D Larsson (“Karlosd” in the comments section). Details: 113 web pages (This is an early draft of the script. The situations, heroes, and storyline may change significantly by the time the film is released. I always get just a little worried while I can’t come up with a tagline for a script I simply read.
This is by no means a death word. Films like American Beauty have imperfect logins. Amores Perros, Heat, Pulp, and Babel Fiction has imperfect logins. But my experience has been when you can’t summarize your story cohesively in one sentence, the script itself lacks focus. The good reason for this is that a login doubles as a controlling idea. It’s the idea that controls your story.
If that idea is unclear, the story plot itself is likely to be unclear. And I believe we have a little of that going on today’s script, Fire, and Blood, a subdued chronicling of the couple’s life together. Blood and Fire start out strongly. We meet a family residing in an unfamiliar country having breakfast.
They’re somewhat dysfunctional but no more so than the common family. The main element players will be the dad, Shane, a 40 yr old Salvation Army officer, Kara, his beautiful wife, and Chloe, year old goth-ish child is 17. After they finish eating, Kara is out for her morning jog and then be shot and killed by the local thug tandem of Carnel and Faron.
Jump back to Afghanistan in 2002, where we discover how Shane and Kara fulfilled. He was a soldier and she was a nurse. The story then jumps back 3 days previous to highlight a meeting that (I believe) got Shane delivered to the hospital in the first place. He and another soldier were on patrol in the city and his dim-witted partner triggered an anxiety that got some poor pedestrian trampled, leading to all sorts of mayhem that resulted in the two hardly getting out alive.
We then jump forward in time to Los Angeles, years later, where we learn that Shane has turned into a preacher, is wedded to Kara now, and has several children. Shane is actively involved with assisting the community but also worried that his teenage girl, Chloe, is heading down the wrong route by dating suspect guys.
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Eventually, the Salvation Army decides to make Shane a missionary, and he takes his family to Belize, which is, of course, where our story began. It’s here that we meet up with the local crime lord Carnel, and his cronies, Faron. Panel wants his community nice and dirty, as it’s easier to operate as a criminal that way, and therefore doesn’t like Shane and his family barge in, attempting to clean things up. Things only get worse for Shane when his child Chloe begins dating Faron. But Faron is like a meek little bunny in comparison to Carnel, who’s constantly warning Shane to go back to America.
When Shane ignores him, Carnel finally will take issues into his own hands and kills Kara. This is a hardcore one. With no hook, no discernable personality goals and no real story structure, there isn’t a lot to seize onto with Blood and Fire, especially because we spend a lot of the story randomly bouncing around in time.
In any tale, you’d like for the audience with a notion of where things are going by the finish of the first action. I pinpointed that path never, and thus acquired trouble remaining interested. Part of the problem here is the lack of clarity in why we’re jumping around so much. Take the leap to the Kabul event for example backwards.
We watch as mayhem occurs and a woman is trampled. This is probably one of the more active occasions in the script. But ultimately, it doesn’t have anything to do with the story. The individual accountable for the pedestrian’s loss of life isn’t even our main personality. It’s another personality altogether, one who we never see again. That leads me to wonder, why is the scene in any way?
